Cheesy Lines GONE Sweet Chili
by orthonym
Summary: cheesy lines... though corny, RENJI uses it as a weapon to piss off someone. He is forcing his peasized brain to extract as many lines as he can. However it seems that he means every word that he says. RenTat
1. cheesy

**Disclaimer:** **In Tagalog**: KAY PEDRO ANG KAY PEDRO... KAY JUAN, KAY JUAN!

**Logical translation in English**: Bleach is not mine.

**Note:** Enjoy. Review. Critize (?). Thank You!

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**Cheesy Lines Gone Sweet Chili **

by: shin

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**Chapter 1: DO YOU HAVE A NAME? **

Abarai Renji thought he was going to spend another '_ordinary_' day at school. Little did he know that the gods already started printing the word -havoc- in his tale.

As the red-head entered the school property, girls started to squeal and drool at the sight of him. He let out a sigh. Since the first day he and the other shinigamis arrived in this gakuen, girls started to behave that way. It's a scenario he got used to. _Pshaw!_ Ignoring the so-called _fan girls_, he entered the building.

At the end of the hall, few steps outside his room, Renji saw a familiar auburn-haired girl flooding his way with tears. Surrounding her were other familiar faces. Renji could tell that anyone present in that floor can feel the sullen aura radiating from the group.

"Hey," Renji approached them casually.

"Orihime?" Renji was gentle, "why are you crying?" yet blunt. When soft sobs were given to him as an answer, Renji looked around the group surrounding the damsel in distress, searching for someone. _Weird_, he thought. _That 'girl' should be the one comforting her_.

Since Renji didn't have any idea on what the hell happened, he decided that it's better to let them be.

Before fully leaving his gloomy classmates, the red-head punk gave heroic words that he supposed could give some sort of comfort.

"It'll be okay." Renji gently placed a hand on Orihime's head. "I'm sure Arisawa was beating the crap out of those who made you cry." To his surprise, his words trigger more of the girl's tears from falling.

_Ok._ That means comforting was definitely out of his career. Renji gave a small bow to the eerie group before marching towards the door of the classroom. As he laid foot in front of the door, it suddenly swung open making Renji blinked in astonishment. The door exposed Keigo and Chizuru.

Two dispirited classmates wobbled their way out of the room with disheveled appearance and the word defeat written all over their face. They looked like forsaken souls, the red-head noted.

"What's going on?" Renji asked while eyeing their unusual facade.

Pairs of depressed eyes looked at the red-haired dude before looking inside the room. With synchronized movement, Chizuru and Keigo pointed their index finger inside the room. Renji followed their gaze. He was thrilled on how the room clearly screamed danger and in the midst of the wailing walls near the window was Orihime's best friend.

Tatsuki let out a deep troubled sigh. She limply sat on her usual place, her proper seat to be exact; and due to the inevitable situation she ran through yesterday, she couldn't help but let her mind flew somewhere else. This girl was well aware that everybody was looking at her, brows either furrowed or twitched. She wanted to react, really. That's the truth. But how could she react? if there's a he-devil and his partner threatening her if she _dare_ talked.

She mused over the things that happened this morning. Her problem started when some of her classmates noticed that something was absolutely wrong. Tatsuki acted weird after setting foot at the school this morning, - that's a fact. She walked passed everyone without a word of greeting. Friend or acquaintance, she snubbed them all. She posed a stern face and emitted an uninviting air. In the end, Orihime gave up persuading her to share her burden. Since Tatsuki hadn't exchange any word with anybody, they were all very puzzled.

_Orihime cried. It's her fault! She made her cry_... Another troubled sigh escaped her lips. If it wasn't because of _the bet_, _her secret_ and _the he-devil_, she wouldn't be like this. Tatsuki fixed her gaze outside the window to ignore some probing eyes.

"Arisawa!" _that annoying voice._ As if a reflex, Tatsuki gritted her teeth_ t__he annoying punk_, she thought. Heaven must be really mad for letting unfortunate things happen to her. The owner of the voice approached the girl and stood in front her desk.

_Leave me alone bastard!_ She hoped she could have thrown those words to the annoying Abarai.

Renji sure observed an attitude. Using his knuckles, he poked her cheeks.

Still gazing outside the window, Tatsuki closed her to summon a life-time support of composure before she slowly faced him with icy glares.

"How could you make Orihime cry?" Renji arrogantly scolded. He put his arms in front of his chest and eyed the glaring opponent. "Saying you'll protect her? How could you protect someone if you're the one hurting her? **Cold hearted**." He scoffed. The red-haired punk stood there for a while, waiting for Tatsuki to stir and shout at him.

Tatsuki clenched the hem of her skirt. _Annoying. _To strengthen her self-control, she counted to three and closed her eyes._ BAKA Ichigo! Blackmailer! _After she screamed in her mind, she took a deep breath and looked away, **ignoring** Abarai.

Renji did not expect this kind of lifeless reaction. He raised a brow, "What's the matter? Feeling weak today?" he asked. "Oh. Sorry, you are always a _weakling_." He smirked and poked Tatsuki's cheeks again.

It's obvious that Renji's attempts of getting into her nerves were all in vain. He wasn't enjoying this kind of conversation plus he looked totally foolish in front of everyone. _No more playing Mr. Nice guy Arisawa!_ Renji snapped.

"What the hell Arisawa!" Renji hammered his hands on the desk causing Tatsuki to levitate a little.

The ebony-haired girl mustered all her strength to ignore the punk. She managed to roll her eyes and yawn. She must admit the fact that she was in pure bliss seeing Renji all worked up even though she just sat there not using words nor force to harass him.

"Arisawa!"

Tatsuki looked up at the infuriated guy who shouted her name with disgust. She smirked. _Dream on Abarai! I won't waste my energy at you!_

Everyone witnessing the 'friendly' greetings between the two was frightened at how the killing atmosphere penetrated their skin. Renji was annoyed. No, scratch that – he was not annoyed – but very very annoyed. Tatsuki on the other hand had unreadable yet cold expressions.

Renji angrily gripped the edge of Tatsuki's table. He gritted his teeth. He didn't understand the odd pang inside him but one thing is for sure, he wanted the composed girl in front of him to speak, retort, and fight.

Looking at Tatsuki, whose eyes by the way were wandering outside the window, a thought hit Renji. He glared at Tatsuki. She was like a deaf, dumb, autistic, out of this world creature. Renji loathed the way this common human ignored him.

"Shit!" Renji snarled. For a minute he thought of something, a plot to win her game.

Renji lowered a little to get a good look at Tatsuki's face. He decreased the space between them, very close he inhaled what she breathed out.

Tatsuki evenly stared at him. Her heart beat increases. _Dammit! My heartbeat always thumps abnormally when he's around. _

"Your name is Tatsuki Arisawa…" Renji plainly said earning a frown from the girl.

"Well if your name is Tatsuki Arisawa… " Renji was undeniably cunning as he stated, "Mind if I call you MINE?"

Tatsuki felt her heart jump out from her chest. She rolled her eyes. _What is this? A joke?_

_First attempt, failed._ Renji fumed.

While the two 'friends' were having a little tittle-tattle in their own way, Ichigo entered the room. The latter spotted Tatsuki and mischievously grinned at her. Renji noticed it and felt an impulsive twinge of bizarre pain. He stared back at the girl.

Another line hit Renji. He bent and snatched Tatsuki's right leg, causing her to create a squeaking sound.

"Your must be tired 'coz your running in my mind all night."

Tatsuki scowled. One word- CORNY. That's another failure for the red punk.

For the next few hours, students observed a stoic Tatsuki and an amusing Renji.

"Hey Arisawa! Is this the key?" Renji lifted up a key. "The key to open your heart?"

For the record, that was another preposterous line by Abarai that was disregarded by the all-composed Arisawa.

When the sensei left the room, Renji occupied the seat in front of Tatsuki, faced her and acted. He cupped his hands into his ears. "Hear that?" he whispered. "Is that a plane or just my heart taking off?" Renji thought Tatsuki was so damn good in ignoring all foolishness that he said. Truth was, the Karate expert poured all her energy to control her emotions.

_Attempt number 21: _

Renji acted again. ".ow" he gave the expressionless Tatsuki a painful look, "I think I bruised myself falling for you." The girl just stared at him.

_Attempt number 45: _

During a classroom discussion, Renji raised his hand. The Sensei called him.

"I'm gay." All jaws dropped.

Ichigo, Mizuiro, Keigo, Yumichika and Ikkaku embraced their 'drop-er-dead-err-gorgeous-errr-body' . Rangiku couldn't help but laugh out loud and as for El Capitan Hitsugaya, he helplessly palm-faced.

Renji dramatically put his hand on his chest and said, "But TATSUKI ARISAWA can convert me!" the class squealed and cheered.

Tatsuki stuck her tongue out. _Fuck! How many cheesy lines did he know, anyways? And he only has a pea sized brain so how come he memorized those? _

"Giant polar bear!" Renji energetically said.

Ms. Arisawa, scan the room and grimaced. She really wanted to fight this guy, words or physically.

"Hmmm… I thought that will break the ice." The red-punk said in a stern tone although a faint defeated tone was audible.

_Get lost Abarai! I will be like this for a week and FYI it is only day one and you sounded like defeated. _

_-tbc-_


	2. silence

**Words to ponder:**

**In Tagalog**: PAANO KA SISINGHOT NG DAMO KUNG WALANG POSPORO?

**Logical translation in English**: No to Drugs!

**Inner thoughts: **please read -_**COMATOSE**_- also a RenTat fic. I suffer blood loss due to prolong exposure to the tongue of English. Please tell me any grammatical errors that caught your attention. thanks.

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**Cheesy Lines Gone Sweet Chili**

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**Chapter 2: IN SILENCE**

Renji's pride slowly deteriorated as a she-devil sent by hell succeeded in annoying the shit out of him. He was suffering mild nausea caused by triggering his pea-size brain to release so much energy for cheesy lines. These cheesy lines, so far, were wasted.

_Damn... why should I bother anyways?_ He looked at Tatsuki's direction and sighed heavily. The girl was jotting down notes not minding…. well, not minding **him**.

"Oi, Renji!" strawberry's voice made Renji's brow knotted. Not because he was annoyed at the manner Ichigo called him but the way the girl he was observing reacted tensely.

"Hey! Rukia asks if you could accompany her to a shop... " the strawberry nudged the pineapple.

"I have other commitments." the red hunk surprised Ichigo both in his plain tone and stern reaction. "Why is she asking me? How 'bout you?" Renji sluggishly leaned on his table while making sure Tatsuki was still within his visual field.

Ichigo ruffled his bright colored hair, "I also have other commitments... goin' to meet someone..." Ichigo heaved a sigh and tapped the punk on his shoulder before leaving Renji.

_Meet someone? _The fukutaichou of 6th division stirred and focused his eyes as quickly as possible at the solemn-looking girl. He nearly toppled out of his chair when he saw strawberry-top happily chiding the tamed dragon. _What the… _

"Tatsuki!" Ichigo said as he tousled the girl's black hair. Tatsuki looked up and stuck her tongue out. "You shouldn't have made 'Hime cry..." Ichigo gently smack Tatsuki's head. After doing so, strawberry headed his way to his proper seat.

Tatsuki chewed her lower lip. Day 1, only 6 days left and this bad dream will be over. _On the 7th day you'll be a dead meat Ichigo. _She mentally rejoiced and for the first time on that day a smile crossed her lips. Tatsuki slackly threw her arms up for a stretch. Out of nowhere her black-coal eyes landed on a red punk. She felt goose bumps rise at the back of her neck when she saw his blazing eyes nailed at her.

_Looking at me with such eyes is so damn scary._ Tatsuki swiftly returned to her earlier pose. The dragoness focused her eyes on the fluffy clouds but still, her arch-nemesis's face kept on popping in her memory. _Dammit Ichigo..._ She glowered.

All ideas, questions, resolutions and violent reactions lingering in each and everyone's mind were cut off by the resounding rung of the omnipresent bell.

Red-head Abarai stretched his arms. _Let's play the game, battle mode activated!_ Renji lethargically stood and search for the pint-sized tamed devil. He was greatly mystified seeing her already at the door leaving the room.

"Hey! Aren't you forgetting something?" Renji hastily strolled in her direction.

The ebony-short-haired knowing she's the one this punk addressed stopped in her fast pace steps. She plastered an annoyed face before facing Renji.

Renji got the hint that Tatsuki was giving him 2 seconds to start making sense. He cracks, "ohh man! You're forgetting me!" Before Tatsuki could give a bored reaction, Renji snatched her hand and stormed out of the room.

The tall red-head succeeded in dragging Tatsuki out of the gates of the school without any severe damages. They were accompanied by the heavy air of silence as they continued promenading in the streets. Because of the Shinigami's lack of ability in observing small details particularly in a girl's action, he didn't notice that it took a total of 30 minutes or so before the lady dragon snapped back to reality and forcefully pulled her hand back. In addition to what Renji missed was the fact that Tatsuki's face is erythematic in color when he held her hand tightly.

"Sorry about that. So say," Renji noticed that Tatsuki was rubbing her hand_. Baka. Why should I hold her_ _hand like that? Darn, how careless._ Silence accompanied them as they walked a never-ending path leading to who-knows-where.

Tatsuki wanted to run but she knew that would be silly. Why should she run anyways? It's only _Abarai_, what's the big deal eh? _That's the problem, I am with ABARAI!_ She mentally smacked her head to wake her up in this little trance. She hastily walked.

"I wonder what your room looks like…" Red-pineapple tried hard to break the wall of silence that separates them. Renji naively anticipated that Tatsuki will turn and look at him with her lovely yet fiery eyes. Though absurdly out-of-the-blue, the statement was more likely a question he wanted her to answer. Renji patiently waited for any answer.

Since Tatsuki was not allowed to talk all she could do was to gesture or use minimal facial expressions as a form of communication. Her satanic torturers only allowed her to scowl and do any facial expressions or gestures or else there a big riot of secrets will be revealed. _Leave me alone…don't make things more complicated as it is already! bastard! _

The petite lady got extremely irritated to be with Renji who's fooling around all day. Tatsuki wished her composure could last for another day, or heck, until the last day of the foolish agreement. She completely ignored Renji's blabbering asking this and that for she profoundly brooded on things that can help clearing things up with Inoue.

The death-god discerned that she was not paying attention to him, _again... as usual_. "Hey... Tatsuki" the short-haired girl shot an icy glare over her shoulders. She didn't wait for another group of absurd words. Tatsuki straightened her arms, slumped her bag into her back and sped up her pace. A boyish action that made Renji crooked a smile.

"Hey, wait up." Renji gently grasped her right arm. He put his free hands into his pocket and in a split second he held up a closed fist. Tatsuki looked at it quizzically before heaving a sigh. Renji seeing her loosing interest opened his hand and said, "It's my breath from when you took it away."

Tatsuki bit her lip, sheepishly ruffled her hair afterwards she turned and walked away. _F.U.N.N.Y. Never thought you're that corny…_

This karate expert was inwardly waiting if the nuisance will give up or continue his weird, annoying but funny, attitude. Some minutes elapsed and she believed he already left. She sighed and slowed her stride. She took every step gingerly while she fight the urge of looking back to check if Renji was still there.

Tatsuki reluctantly turned around and scanned her surroundings. _No... No sign of him… ok then..._ She did not realize that she was actually frowning. Tatsuki pouted. Knowing that he left her made her a little bit sad.

Another troubled sigh escaped her lips. For the last time she did a quick scan of the whole street and seeing no sign of the punk, she decided to continue her walk home.

Before Tatsuki could turn and continue her promenade, a male voice caused her heart to crash down. "Are you looking for me?" She froze.

Tatsuki could feel the warm breath of Renji. The punk stood at her back, with his upper body bent forward to enable him to mischievously whisper to her ear. Tatsuki wore an expression no human tongue could explain. Renji was at her back the whole time! She drew possibilities that he saw her searching for him. _Bloody hell! Sly are we Abarai!_

"c'mon! I'm walking you home…" Renji held his hand. As anticipated, the girl only looked at his hands with empty eyes. Tatsuki scowled and started walking. Renji looked at her, _how the hell did you manage to shatter my pride? You're__ driving me nuts! What's the matter with you? Yah, yah, Let me be your light bulb so I can light up your world….. damn! _

Renji's brownish orbs never left the petite girl walking ahead of him. Suddenly, some realizations dawned on him as he stared at her. It can be counted as _perverted thoughts. _Like she's the only girl he, most often if not always, quarrel with aside from Rukia; and he enjoyed every second they're together; and she's pretty… she's hot.; and he bet she looks like an angel when asleep; and he taught it would be wonderful if he wakes up in his bed seeing an angel at his side beaming a sweet smile at him; and….. They look nice on a wedding cake together. _Yes!_ w_tf!_

The thoughts made Renji tremble from head to foot. He shook his head to erase those devious thoughts. _What am I thinking?_ He rubbed his tattooed forehead.

"Weakling!" Renji called up. Tatsuki turned and shot daggers piercing his soul. "I mean.. I am the weakling when you're not around, just because you are my strength." He tried to suppress laughter. Seriously, these whole deal with cheesy lines made him lol.

_Tatsuki Arisawa, inhale… exhale…. Composure…. _Tatsuki sure realized how hard it is to conceal all emotions. She scowled and rolled her eyes. There was a thin red line separating her scowl to her smile. Though Tatsuki's greatly annoyed with her topsy-turvy situation, she couldn't help but smile inwardly for Renji looks like a geek.

Renji pushed his right hand in front of her. Seeing Tatsuki loosing curiosity, he cunningly snatched her left hand and placed his right to hers. "Would you hold this for me while I walk you home?"

Before Tatsuki could react, the red punk, without any hesitation, took her hand gently not wanting to let go. The starless sky witnessed how Renji succeeded walking Tatsuki home. _so what if I'm blushing? Damn!_ At least Renji could boast that he's been touch by an angel.

-tbc-

**:review/comment:** long informative constructive criticisms are welcomed.


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